Finding our way home to our Inherent Worth.

Reclaiming our value, significance and individual humanity. Quality #3 in the True Self Series

In today’s newsletter we are exploring the quality of Inherent Worth.

It is about being a unique, embodied and significant soul, with value and dignity. Not because of accomplishments or the perception that others have of you, but because of the truth of your being.

The fact that you matter just because you exist.

This is about your unique soul and individual humanity, innately real and whole.

It is the deep truth that you are enough. You were born enough.

Irrespective of standards or ideals, yours or others, you are always enough.

It is the quiet voice inside that speaks its grounded knowing that you are ok, just as you are.

The voice of sacred recognition. Speaking to the root of your being. Your soul’s truth that cannot be tarnished or diminished.

Your value is not something to be earned or proven. Your essence is beyond external measure.

This is the voice of LOVE.

The love that exists in you, and in all of us.

Not the kind we have learned and yearned to seek outside of ourselves, but the love that is already present within us, waiting to be met.

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Most of our wounding happens because love was in some way, conditional.

Our true self, our inherent worth was not seen, welcomed or mirrored to us.

We may have sensed in our environment that we needed to be different to be loved.

• Maybe we had to be ‘good.’

• Maybe we had to ‘be like them.’

• Maybe we had to be small, agreeable, impressive, or invisible.

In such an environment, our natural sense of value became conditional.

We may have begun performing, adapting, or hustling for worth. Over time, the inner experience of ‘I am someone of worth’ gets lost, and replaced by self-rejection, striving, shame, or emptiness.

To survive, we carry these adaptations into our adult years, taking on roles that mask our vulnerability and try to secure love:

We become:

• The People Pleaser – Over-adapting to others’ desires.
  “If I’m easygoing and agreeable, I’ll be loveable.”

• The Performer / Achiever – Seeking worth through doing and excelling.
  “If I achieve enough, I’ll finally be enough.”

• The Chameleon / Shape-Shifter – Hiding our true self to fit in.
  “If I become who they want, I’ll be safe and be loved.”

• The Stoic One – Armoured and independent, denying needs.
  “If I don’t need anyone, I won’t be hurt.”

• The Perfectionist – Harsh inner critic, always improving.
  “If I get it right, I’ll finally be worthy.”

• The Caretaker – Over-giving to feel needed.
  “If I look after others, I’ll be valued.”

• The Invisible One – Staying small to avoid being seen.
  “If I stay quiet and hidden, I’ll stay safe.”

• The Rebel – Rejecting the world to stay in control.
  “If I push them away first, I won’t get hurt.”

• The Fixer – Rushing in to manage others’ pain.
  “If I solve everything, I’ll be needed and loved.”

All the time we are just desperately trying to be someone valuable, rather than knowing we are of value, just as we are. Slowly becoming estranged from our own soul

We don’t need to become someone to be worthy. We already are someone.

In the same way that a newborn child enters this life as whole and complete, intrinsically valuable and worthy of love, so too are we as adults. That was never taken away from us.

This is an undeniable truth.

Life, and our experiences, have simply clouded our perception and experience of that.

Reclaiming our inherent worth is a deep and sacred return to ourselves.

A remembering. A homecoming.

Much like the other qualities clouding the true self, it asks us to dismantle all that is false, to reveal all that is real.

It is an unmasking.. of the strategies and identities we developed to stay safe. A recognition of how we use the masks we wear to gain the love, approval and connection that we need.

A returning to our true feelings, even when they are painful.

A choice to honour ourselves instead of abandoning to gain approval.

To recognise and place value on your real and true experience. Your truth, heart, perspective and sensitivity.

No longer needing to become someone, you are someone.

As we begin to reclaim our inherent worth, the strategies and old roles we used to derive worth externally start to fall away. Slowly and surely.

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The people pleaser moves into authentic connection..
We no longer self-silence or sacrifice to belong. We honour our truth and stay connected.

The caretaker becomes the nourished giver..
Giving becomes a choice, not a currency, and we love from fullness, not depletion.

The performer embodies their vital flame..
We don’t need to prove anything. We burn with presence, not performance.

The chameleon rests in authentic embodiment..
We stop twisting ourselves to fit, and instead stand, whole and seen, just as we are.

The stoic one becomes the wise tender one..
We soften. Letting in feeling becomes a strength, not a threat.

The perfectionist unfolds into the wholehearted human..
We release the grip of getting it right and allow ourselves to be messy, real, and deeply human.

The invisible one emerges into being fully seen..
We stop hiding. We let ourselves be known, just as we are.

The fixer becomes the empowered witness..
We stop rescuing to feel worthy, and offer our presence and our heart, knowing it is enough.

The rebel finds their sovereign voice..
We no longer need to push against something to feel strong or free. Our defiance softens into discernment and we move from reaction to grounded response steeped in our own knowing; clear, calm, unshakeable.

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As we peel back the layers, we find the quiet, steady presence that has been with us all along…

Not something to be earned or something that can be taken away, but our soul’s knowing that we matter, that we belong, that we are enough. We come home, to the inherent worth that was gifted to us the moment we were conceived. The moment we first opened our tender eyes. The moem and took our first breath.

Remembering who we’ve always been beneath the masks, roles and striving.

Returning to the sacred truth of our being.

We no longer hustle for our worth.

We begin to live from love, not for love.
We begin to move through life not to prove who we are, but to be who we are.
Connected to our being, whole, and worthy.

So may this be your invitation today:

To pause for a moment and feel into the place in you that already knows that you are of immeasurable worth. Right now.

Just. As. You. Are.

Some questions for reflection;

• Where in my life do I feel like I have to earn my worth?

• How would I speak to myself if I truly believed I was inherently worthy?

• What messages did I receive growing up about what made me loveable or valuable?

• Which childhood roles or strategies (like the people pleaser or achiever) still show up in my adult life?

• What am I afraid would happen if I stopped performing, pleasing, or fixing?

• What would living from love, instead of for love, look like in my daily life?

With love,

Maraya Rae Rodostianos

PS. Next in this series is the quality of Embodied Ground; The felt sense of being fully in your body and of this moment. A rooted, living presence where your nervous system no longer scans for danger, and instead begins to trust in the safety of now.