Coming home to our Open Hearted Presence
Staying open to what is - unguarded, in love, in truth, in presence. Quality #5 in the True Self Series.
In today’s newsletter we are exploring the quality of Openhearted Presence.
The part of you that has the capacity to give, receive and hold yourself, others and life, in the purest essence of love.
It is about your relationship with your precious and beautiful heart.
This tender, yet immensely powerful centre that lives in the middle of your chest, pulsing with life, emanating the quiet nectar of love.
This love that exists in you, is innate.
It was birthed into existence with your first heartbeat and lives inside you until the very last.
It doesn’t need effort or achievement. Like the palpable presence of love clearly visible in a newborn child, it simply is.
You ARE love.
Openhearted Presence is the part that says:
I can stay lovingly with what is here, soft and present, even when it hurts
I can meet this moment with warmth, not defence
There’s space for this too, even the mess and the ache
It is the part that keeps the door open, even when everything in you wants to close.
The part that offers presence instead of protection and knows that love is bigger than fear.
It is the part of you that gently holds what is tender.. our truth, and the truth of others, with warmth and compassion.
It is a holding presence.
Love, not as an idea, but as an act of staying.
If you have read the post about Tender Truth, you might notice some crossovers.
The distinction is that Tender Truth says: This is what’s real, tender, and true.
Openhearted Presence says: And I will stay lovingly with what is here.
It’s like Tender Truth opens the door, and Openhearted Presence holds it wide open, with love.
It is the voice of loving kindness.
Early Wounding
For many of us though, our heart and its capacity to receive and give love in this way, has become armoured in protection.
We may have learned to guard it to stay safe, to shut down rather than feel too much.
When our tenderness, our open heartedness was met with criticism, rejection, neglect or betrayal, our heart learned to close. It learned that being open meant being exposed and that loving might lead to loss. That sharing our feelings could be used against us, and that being undefended was dangerous.
Beliefs we may have adopted could be;
I have to protect my heart or I will get hurt
If I am too open, I will be taken advantage of
Love has strings attached - receiving love means I owe something in return
My feelings are too much, or not enough for others
Love ends in loss
If I love fully I will hurt deeply
If I soften, I’ll fall apart
Intimacy will make me powerless
It is safer not to care too much
Being open means I lose boundaries or self-protection
This creates an inner division.
A part of you longs to love, to care, to connect deeply, and receive another in the same way… and another part grips tightly to protection, armour, and distance.
Many of us are walking through life, guarded in this way.
To survive we become;
The stoic one; not needing anything or anyone, shutting down our feelings to maintain control. Unbothered, overly rational, and self-sufficient.
The protector; strong and able to handle it all. Priding ourselves on invulnerability, taking care of others but unable to open to others caring for us.
Cool and detached; Easygoing, nothing really gets to us. We keep things light, surface level, struggling to open to deeper intimacy.
Cynical; Not believing in love, love is an illusion. We avoid attachment and mask deep longing with detachment or intellectual superiority.
Caretaker; we find value in giving but neglect our own heart.
The intellectual; Escaping into the mind and becoming skilled at analysing feelings instead of feeling them.
The spiritual bypasser; Transcending human emotions and escaping into spiritual concepts such as ‘oneness’ to avoid pain. (This is a sneaky one because we may speak of love and an open heart, but we bypass grief, anger or deep human vulnerability)
And more….
And yet even behind all of these masks, something in us still longs to love, and be loved, unconditionally and in full presence.
To meet life, ourselves, and others without defence. To greet each moment with openness and receptivity.
When learn to meet ourselves with this holding presence, the layers of grief, sorrow, anger and unmetabolised pain we have long suppressed, begin to rise. While this can feel overwhelming, it is also the path. Grief, in particular, is a sacred gateway. It cracks the heart open, softens the defences, and creates the conditions for real love, compassion, and presence to emerge.
We can't access true open-heartedness without meeting what has broken our hearts in the first place.
Why we orient to opening the heart.
If I were to ask you to recount some of the most meaningful or touching experiences in your life, they would likely be oriented around feelings of warmth, gratitude, love, generosity, compassion, kindness, longing, forgiveness, tender vulnerability (think of moments with a lover, or in the presence of a newborn child, a young animal etc.), devotion or joy.
There is an ‘open-heartedness’ to these qualities.
The heart is where we experience all of these higher emotions, and when the heart remains closed or guarded, we lose access to these necessary qualities.
Why necessary?
These qualities are the nectar of life.
Vulnerability enables true intimacy with life, ourselves and others.
Gratitude softens the heart and brings a recognition of goodness, a quality of reverence and an orientation to the beauty and mystery of life.
Warmth melts defences and soothes, inviting a softening.
Generosity is love in motion, giving without needing anything in return.
Compassion bring softness to our experience and inner pain, creating space to hold what hurts without collapse or resistance.
Love offers warmth, connection and tenderness
Longing invites a quiet surrender, as we are called to truth, love, home, union or deeper meaning.
Forgiveness restores connection where there was once separation. It frees the heart to love again.
Kindness offers emotional safety towards ourselves.
And Joy is the natural expression of the heart when it is unobstructed.
In OpenHearted Presence there is a merging of all of these qualities. It is an openness to ourselves, to others, and to all that life brings.
Reclaiming the truth that we ARE this love, brings us home.
Love is not something we seek outside of ourselves, it is something that exudes.. self emanating, when we remove all of the obstacles that stand in its way.
The qualities of love - vulnerability, gratitude, warmth, generosity, compassion, longing, kindness, forgiveness and joy, are innate in each of us.
Attuning to the heart, animates them into being.
A little side note about modern science and the heart
I always like to back things up with a little ‘modern science’ here and there if I can. And when it comes to the heart, thanks to organisations like Heart Math, who have been responsible for quantifying what mystics and ancient wisdom have known all along, the heart is now being recognised not only as a symbol of love, but also as a powerful centre of intelligence that deeply influences our emotional, mental and even spiritual wellbeing. Existing with its own intrinsic nervous system (sometimes called the ‘heart brain’), which can sense, feel, learn, and remember.
The HeartMath Institute has studied the role of the heart extensively, revealing that our heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body. One that can be measured several feet beyond the skin. When we experience elevated emotions such as gratitude, compassion, care, or appreciation, our heart rhythms shift into a coherent state. This is known as heart coherence, a harmonious rhythm between our heart, nervous system, and brain.
In a state of coherence, we experience inner regulation, resilience, emotional stability and a blend of all of the qualities listed above. Our body can heal and rest in this state. In contrast, when we are stressed or disconnected, our HRV becomes erratic, reflecting internal chaos and emotional dissonance.
When we orient to cultivating qualities such as gratitude, appreciation, or loving-kindness, even for just a few minutes, we increase coherence, bringing the body and mind into alignment and creating a foundation for deeper presence, warmth, health and intuitive connection.
These aren’t just emotional states; they are measurable physiological states that support our capacity to be with life in a more openhearted, responsive, and loving way.
It is a reminder that love is not only a feeling, but a frequency, one that our hearts are designed to attune to and radiate.
The heart truly is remarkable.
There is a Sioux Indian saying: The longest journey you will make in your life is from your head to your heart.
The reason this journey is so long, is because to come to rest in the heart, and the pure quality of love existing within it, requires us to dismantle all the obstacles we have built to protect it. Layer by layer by layer.
And continuously choose to orient to the innate qualities within.
And that takes time, commitment, patience and courage.
Often what catapults us into this inner realm, is a crisis of some kind. Adversity that comes to grace us and turn our attention inward, in the hope that something might awaken in its wake. And often, in affairs of the heart it comes through relationship breakdowns, whether that may be divorce, separation, dysfunctional relationships with family, children, colleagues, friends etc.
Ultimately what they all point to is the need for nurturing a more attuned relationship with ourselves, and a turning inwards to heal all that keeps us separate from inhabiting the heart fully.
Like any of the qualities we have covered in this series, the journey into Openhearted Presence is a practice. Much like sitting on the meditation cushion each morning.
It begins with a commitment, and a willingness to soften, to stay, and to meet our experience with love rather than resistance. It asks us to be gentle with the parts of us that needed to close. To hold space for our armouring with the same compassion we offer to others.
We show up for ourselves, we stay, and slowly, lovingly melting our armour in the warmth of kindness, patience, and presence.
Over time, we begin to trust again.
To risk opening to ourselves and to others. Not all at once, but in small intimate ways. Sometimes as simple as resting a hand on the heart. Pausing to feel ourselves. And offering our open hearted care.
Some days we will find it is easy to open, some days the impulse will be to protect. But each time we choose presence over protection, we strengthen our capacity to love. We rewire a new way of being. Slowly becoming more connected and more available to ourselves, to others, and to the beauty of life.
This is the heart of healing, to become available. To ourselves and all of life, with love.
And that is ultimately where the journey leads us. Back to the simple, profound truth:
You are love.
And your open heart is a sacred gift, firstly to yourself, and then to others, and to the world.
Some questions for inquiry;
What is the current tone or quality of your relationship with your heart?
Is it one of closeness, distance, tenderness, neglect, reverence?
What beliefs do you hold (some will be conscious and others unconscious) about love and openness?
Are they yours, or do they come from early experiences or conditioning?
What qualities of love feel most natural to you? Which feel further away?
What might it be like to reclaim or reawaken the ones that feel distant?
With open-hearted love,
Maraya Rae Rodostianos
Want to know more about working with me? Book a complimentary 30 minute connection call with me here. It’s super casual and you can ask any questions.
PS. Next in this series is the quality of Creative Essence, the intelligent force that animates you and the sacred act of being who you truly are, without censorship.
And if you are new to this newsletter and missed any of the previous posts in the True Self Series, click on the links below to catch up so you get the foundations that underpin the True Self Project.
Quality of Embodied Ground
https://marayaraerodostianos.substack.com/p/finding-our-way-home-to-our-embodied
Quality of Tender Truth
https://marayaraerodostianos.substack.com/p/finding-our-way-home-to-tender-truth
Quality of Inherent Worth
https://marayaraerodostianos.substack.com/p/finding-our-way-home-to-our-inherent
Quality of Sacred Ground
https://marayaraerodostianos.substack.com/p/finding-our-way-home-to-our-sacred